Miss Me?

That don't look like Utah, don't it?

It's not. It's sunny California in March. Tiffany and I went out to Pleasant Hill, California for some Therapy. It worked... we get along much better now.

Kidding. We went to look into a cancer therapy. And yes, that's why I have'nt been around much. We've been very busy with this new therapy trying to settle in to a new routine. We are very confident that this is what will settle the score with this whole cancer thing once and for all.

The therapy is alot of work and is pretty much an hourly regime for 13 hours a day everyday. I've had to quit my job as it does not accomodate such a routine. This just means that I really need to finish the Cobra. So, between treatments (if I'm not throwing up) you'll find me in the garage with a wrench in my hand. I may need to get a seperate phone just for the garage.

Keno Therapy?

The doctors told me that it's imperrative that I get plenty of sunshine and play lots of keno. I'm likin' that prescription. Of course their offical medical terms were radiation and keno-therapy... or kemo-therapy... or maybe it was chemistry-therapy... chemostry-therapy... cosmopolitan-therapy? No, choloric-therapy. Wait, or was it chemotherapy? Whatever!

Well as soon as figured out what they really wanted I certainly didn't like what was in store for me. My first reaction was, no. God will see my through this. But then I met with the radiation doctor and was told some pretty scary things about what could happen if I did not go through with the prescribed therapies. Fear got the best of me and I started preparing for months of extreme radiation to my face and chemotherpy treatments.

Out of fear I procrastinated taking all of this to God. But, with gentle perssuasion Tiffany convinced me that I needed to. After some serious prayer and my nose buried in the Word, I was given an answer... from God.

God told me that this wasn't the treatment I'm supposed to undergo. I don't know what that means exactly yet, but I am still praying continually about it. Keep praying for me (if you were already, or start now) and I will keep you posted.

God is good.

Save Me!
Words & Music by Paul Berg
Copyright © 2005 Paul Berg

Just like a child, I stumbled
Surrounded by my sins and shame
I saw only trouble and sorrow
Then I called out Your name

Bend down and listen, I am deeply troubled
I believed in You, so I prayed
Bend down and hear me, wash away my sorrows
I believe in You, please Lord, save me!

Facing death, You saved me
Now I can rest again
Lord, You’ve been so good to me
I wanna call out Your name

Bend down and listen,
Bend down and hear me,
Bend down and talk to me,
Bend down and save me!

Bend down and listen, I am deeply troubled
I believed in You, so I prayed
Bend down and hear me, wash away my sorrows
I believe in You, please Lord, save me!

Wheatgrass Sucks!

But WheatThins™ are awesome! At first the whole nostalgia of taking a shot of wheatgrass was kinda cool. You know, the newness of it. Getting healthy for 2008.

No... it bites! It's wrong! A week hasn't gone by and I'm already trying to get this milkweed to taste better.

By the way, couldn't get any juice out of the WheatThin™... just clogged up the juicer. I'll bet I could squeeze some juice out of a hotdog.

"Hey honey, do we have any hotdogs?"

Hangin' With My Homeys

Check it. I took a ride to see my E.N.T about my neck bling. Then he like said, "What the dilly yo?" so I said, "I'm coo". So he said "What's da sitch on the bling?" I said, "My junk?" So he said, "Word up." So I said, "Straight!"

Then he said, "Your bling is kick'n" so I said "that's off the hook!" Then he said, "no, tight". So I said, "Let's bust it" so he said "Whatchu waitin' for yo?"

So his cuz ganked my bling. Ditant feel a thang.

My boo wit da ba-donka-donk said, "You fly." Even my crew, my haps, my homeys, my peeps and my jigga said, "That's dope, yo!" So, if you don't thank it's da bomb, than you bo janglin.

Payce dawg.

psst.. Click da pic to see my shiny junk up close

Recovery or Vacation?

Dude! This is the best time-off ever. No bed-time, no rules, no shower, don't have to brush my teeth, don't have to change my clothes... I can even leave the toilet lid up if I want. This rocks!

But, don't think that just because there's no rules that I'm just sitting around and not taking my rehabilitation seriously. I have been very resposible with my recovery.

I've been resting... yesterday I was only awake for two hours. I'm adapting to a new, healthier diet... I've had my mom and Tiffany on wheatgrass to test it's acclaimed health effects.
Due to the severe excavation near my jaw, the doctor said I need to work on new motor skills...

so, I tevo'ed Monster Garage™. I've been working on cognative function... I got a Sudoku™ book. The doctor even said that exercise would become more important so I've been leaving the dog out longer. I've already seen a remarkable difference. For instance, I've wheened myself off the hard stuff and am only taking Tylenol™ now. I'm not sleeping as much throughout the day... instead I just sleep between movies. I'm eating more, I'm feeling better, and I drove today. I even saw my friend Jason Hewlett today at the Piano Gallery. We were both there helping to raise money for orphaned mole rats... it's very sad. Click on my MoleRat Blog for more info.

Sorry, gotta go.. this Sudoku thing really is addicting.

Just Say "No"

Have you ever celebrated the New Year, but not remembered doing it? Hey, me too! What an exciting Christmas holiday it's been for me. Let's see, I visited new places. I met new people. I tried new things. I took time off work just for me. I invited friends and family over. And, I've been spending the holidays just laying around the house doing nothing. Perhaps my new narcotics helped in my leisurely laying around.

I have learned something from my holiday laziness. I have learned that cancer is not just another astrological sign, and that my new year will be filled with yet another diet. My days of eating, drinking and being merry are over. Okay, maybe not the being merry part.

Isn't it interesting that with new scientific evidence what we thought was healthy yesterday may not be healthy today? For instance, The Wall Street Journal reports that even as simple a food as the chili cheese dog contains certain poly-unsaturated and saturated fats that have been linked to obesity. Yeah! And check this out, even fried foods are at risk because we're heating them up in warm grease... something about trans-fatty acids and carcenagens breaking down the immune system. I know, it's crazy. My personal healthy diet of yesterday may be completely obsolete today.

Let's take one of my favorites and look at it closely. The corn dog and a Fresca™ combo. The corn dog is a simple health staple... basically a hotdog in corn bread. It has been long touted to eat a variey of foods. If we applied this simple truth just to meat, the hotdog would be the ultimate food! It contains a variety of meats all compressed into a very easy to eat cylindrical package. And, as fate would have it, the "corn dog and a Fresca™" combo has been nudged off the top 20 list by wheatgrass... of all things.

So here it is bloggers. My new year resolution. Yes, resolution, just one so far. Improve my health intake by 50%. Layman's terms... have only half a corn dog and Fresca™.

WOW...

You gotta love the new Intermountain Health Center Hospital. They really went the extra mile to make me feel comfortable during my overnite stay. Yes, this is at the hospital 6:30 a.m. on surgery morning. A complete surprise to me... Tiffany's dad, Jodi and Cheryl, who were there for support. This is how Tiffany stayed during the whole checking-in and surgery prep process. Needless to say, much of the hospital staff was eager to help in any way they could... very friendly.

The surgery lasted about 3 hours and I don't remember any of it. I must have fallen asleep. When I came to, I was being wheeled to my room where I met many friends and family who were excited to see, I can only imagine, the stitches in my neck (which are very cool by the way).

Dr. Robert Hunter removed about 2 inches of malignant tumor and most of the lymphnodes on the right-side of my neck. He didn't have to remove any jaw bone fortunately. He accessed all this through an 8 inch incision in my neck which left a great spot to put about 18 metal staples... very cool.

Tiffany was a trooper. She stayed the whole time and even spent the night. We were there about 27 hours total.

Warning: Graphic Material Included. People with weak stomachs or heart problems may not want to view this objectionable material, or may want to consult their doctor.

Eighteen metal staples to hold back the massive neck muscles. The doctor wants them out in about 10 days. I offered him more money to leave them in. It's still under negotiation. It has become a novalty. For a fee I'm letting people touch it. Hey, I have to cover the time off work somehow.

I Ain't Afraid Of No Ghost

Who you gonna call? Ghostbusters? When we're in dispair and life has knocked us to our knees, still bloodied from the last battle, who do we call? The doctor? Mom? The internet? Do we go to the store and buy more Fresca? YES!, but aside from that, who do you call?

Do you just relax and wait on the Lord? I trust the Lord, and God has spoke to my heart and confirmed that all is well. All is well. Tomorrow is going to be a difficult day for alot of us, but I wanted everyone to know that I love the Lord and trust what He tells me.

I will see you all tomorrow.

Seeing Past My Nose

Most know already that in 2003 I was diagnosed with oral skin cancer (scuamous cell carcinoma). About a silver dollar size of my lower mouth and cheek were surgically removed (first pic) and then went through some major reconstructive surgery (second pic) so my mouth would function semi-normally. Besides my mouth being extra small and having no feeling on that side of my face, life has been great cancer-free.

However, in November I noticed some pain whenever I opened my mouth to eat. I have recently had this looked at by my Oncologist and after a biopsy and cat scan have been diagnosed again with the same cancer. This time it has formed a large tumor against my right lower jaw bone and has attacked my lymph glands on the right-side of my neck. This Friday, the 28th of December, I am scheduled for emergency surgery.

So what goes on in the mind of a Paul Berg when cancer returns? I have learned to trust in God for my provision. Tiffany and I did not know where the $100 deposit for the surgery would come

from, but then on Christmas morning an anonomous gift of $100 and change was left on our doorstep.

I believe in the apostle Paul when he said "I

have learned to be content in all things". Christmas looked different this year for me. Instead of lots of toys under the tree, we got to just spend time together as a family.

Priceless!