Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Just Say "No"

Have you ever celebrated the New Year, but not remembered doing it? Hey, me too! What an exciting Christmas holiday it's been for me. Let's see, I visited new places. I met new people. I tried new things. I took time off work just for me. I invited friends and family over. And, I've been spending the holidays just laying around the house doing nothing. Perhaps my new narcotics helped in my leisurely laying around.


I have learned something from my holiday laziness. I have learned that cancer is not just another astrological sign, and that my new year will be filled with yet another diet. My days of eating, drinking and being merry are over. Okay, maybe not the being merry part.
Isn't it interesting that with new scientific evidence what we thought was healthy yesterday may not be healthy today? For instance, The Wall Street Journal reports that even as simple a food as the chili cheese dog contains certain poly-unsaturated and saturated fats that have been linked to obesity. Yeah! And check this out, even fried foods are at risk because we're heating them up in warm grease... something about trans-fatty acids and carcenagens breaking down the immune system. I know, it's crazy. My personal healthy diet of yesterday may be completely obsolete today.

Let's take one of my favorites and look at it closely. The corn dog and a Fresca™ combo. The corn dog is a simple health staple... basically a hotdog in corn bread. It has been long touted to eat a variey of foods. If we applied this simple truth just to meat, the hotdog would be the ultimate food! It contains a variety of meats all compressed into a very easy to eat cylindrical package. And, as fate would have it, the "corn dog and a Fresca™" combo has been nudged off the top 20 list by wheatgrass... of all things.
So here it is bloggers. My new year resolution. Yes, resolution, just one so far. Improve my health intake by 50%. Layman's terms... have only half a corn dog and Fresca™.

4 comments:

Bev Robison said...

Paul...you are hilarious! I LOVE your blog. It always puts a smile on my face. You make your holiday sound so much more exciting than mine! Go figure.

Anonymous said...

Bev... that's because secretly I'm a blonde, and yes they do have more fun! pauL

Unknown said...

hey dad.
and ew. i totally smelled your drink of wheatgrass. WOW. thats gross. well aunt lisa had it. uncle bill was chicken. and she actually said it wasnt that bad. hahah. well i love you daddy.

pauL said...

Hayley be careful, I just might tell you we're having spinach and serve instead some wet wheatgrass clippings. You'll never know till it gets in you mouth... Uuuuhhh.

daD