Another Christmas Present for Me

Wow, doesn't it seem every Christmas I'm in the hospital getting yet another surgery? Well, this time the doctor came out clicking his heels and singing "ding-dong the witch is dead". He got it all and without compromising the facial nerve as he feared might be the case. It's all good.. my face still works.

I came home last night and feel great today. Aren't these great pictures. Tiffany actually did the operation. They have internet right there in the operating room and she was logged onto AskGeeves.com for the whole thing. Geeves is great. She only accidently cut out one nerve. It was the Taucksmak Nerve (pronounced tôk-smak)... just recently discovered. Fortunately my Shutcherkaikehool Nerve (pronounced shuht-chur-keyk-hohl) is still intact.

Your teenagers might like this close-up of the incision... still got blood on it. Wicked! You can even click on it for a closer shot if you don't have a weak stomach.

Thank you everyone for your prayers, emails and calls. We're especially thankful for the Southern Baptist prayers from the Memphis area... that's my favorite twin mom Letty.

When Tylenol® Just isn't Enough

Over the past year I've learned an awful lot about what medicines work and which don't. Which ones work for this or that... which ones you can take with other medicines... and which ones would have a nasty reaction.

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It's true, sometimes pain and discomfort can get to the point where Tylenol® just isn't enough. That's where I reach for Damnitol®. I've found that it goes far beyond any ordinary relief medicine. It doesn't just work with physical aches and pains, but life's little pains. It works so good, I would even consider taking Damnitol® to hell with me. You may want to try and it and consider taking Damnitol® to hell with you. Sometimes you just need that little extra. So next time you need some relief, ask your doctor for Damnitol®.

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Warning: Damnitol® may cause irritation, vomiting, random outburst, fits of rage, and social misconduct. If pregnant or lactating, Damnitol® may have been taken too late.

News Flash!!

Got back from the Doctor's office and as a bonus got good news. The PET scan results came back clean..

Ding-dong the witch is dead! Even better is they found a little spot (quarter-size) just above the radiation zone so I'll be going in Monday for surgery again. Man!... am I excited that this might be the last one.

Paul's Piano

Free piano tunings this week only Nov 9-15, 2008. I was busy all weekend tuning pianos and this week is filling up fast. Yes, that one key is orange. I know where A flat is, I just keep forgetting where G sharp is. Funny thing.

I am willing to tune your piano for free (if you live reasonably close to me). I just want all your friends with pianos to know that I tuned your piano and you're happy. That's the catch. It's like a giant pyramid... you give me 2 friends, who gives me 2 friend, who gives me 2 friends. Pretty simple arithmatic.

www.PaulsPiano.com

Double Vision!

My mom's twin sister came out for a visit in the late summer. It was great seeing her again as she lives in Tennessee. It's crazy watching them together. They even dress alike when they're together.. yes, even at their age. Crazy!

Here is a photo of me with each of them. Can you tell who is who? Which one is Betty, my mom? And, which one is Letty, her twin sister?

A Good Day!

You gotta love days like this. Yes, another Bev Robison photo shoot in Alpine, Utah. My face a hard time smiling now, since the surgeries and such, but my kid's smiles make up for it. My kids are growing up fast.. what a wake-up call.

Have you hugged your kids today? How 'bout yesterday? Do they know you love them? Mine do. Thank God.

"I Can't Feel My Legs!"

This is me and one of my best friends, Clay Egan. The only difference between Clay and I is that I can feel my legs. Clay is a great example to me of how to live life large no matter what comes our way.

I used to be the head coach of Utah's wheelchair rugby team where I taught Clay how to perservere.. how to keep pushing when it got tough. It seems he's teaching me now. I am now the student of much more than physical limitations, but of life.

Thank you Clay.

Totally Blessed!

Have I got it made, or what? I have a beautiful wife who loves me to pieces, 5 awesome kids, and a killer scenery where I live. You can't ask for more than that. Well, I guess you could... but I'm not.

You know how they say if everyone put all their problems in a basket and then could pick back out anyone they wanted that they inevitably pick back their own? Well, I'd probably leave all my problems in there but definitely take back out my wife and kids. Oh yeah, absolutely.

I'd probably riffle around in the basket for that '65 Chevy too.

Oh, by the way... I got back the results from my CT scan yesterday and everything is clean, no tumors, no masses... all clean. In 8 weeks I go back for PET scan just to make sure. God is good.

Goin' for a Test Drive

Now here is an unlikely scene. Typically you don't see current and ex husbands getting along. Not the case with Matt and I. Matt came to MY parents house to help celebrate his daughter's 18th birthday... very cool. Of course, during the event we couldn't not go for a ride in the Cobra Project. I mean, it hasn't been road tested for a whole week. Matt gladly volunteered to shotgun the test.

This photo was taken before the test drive. Photos post-test drive usually don't work as well, as the occupants smiles are too big to fit in the picture and their eyelids are precariously stuck to their foreheads.

You'll have to ask Matt how the ride went. Let's just say that 400 horse power is scary at 3" off the ground.

Paul at the Piano

Bev took some pics of me at the piano at a recording studio a few weeks ago while she was in town. Of yeah, and some at her sister-in-laws house on their grand piano (thanks Lynn).

I look like a balding Billy Joel. They're great pictures, thanks Bev. And, there's alot more than just this one... this is just a teaser. I'm gearing up for my big record label deal, huh! www.myspace.com/paulbergsmusic

Dedicated to the Ones I Love!

This post is for all those who just keep looking each day for a new post from the"King of Posts", that's me. It has been awhile since the move that I have posted anything new. People look to me daily to know whether or not to go outside, or how they should feel about a particular.... uhmmm, thing. Yes, it is true. My peeps need me.

Everything is okay. We've moved in without any glitches except for those ones we're not talking about. The family is doing well, except for the parts we're not telling you about. I am feeling exceptionally well post radiation, except for days that I want to just crawl under a rock and die. My mouth is starting to feel better, but I still can't completely taste anything. I'm completely off the pain medications so I'm not as sleepy and groggy. I'm still trying to stretch my mouth so I can fit a chili cheese dog in, but I think that will be awhile. Right now I can barely fit a spoon in my mouth.

Next Tuesday I start back up with the Hoodoo Blues band again. They really miss me... I think. I am going to try and rally everyone I know to come out to our Sept 27 gig at Pat's BBQ in Salt Lake. This place is really nice... it's a restaurant so anybody, even kids, can come. It is $5 a person to sit in the band room. I will remind everyone later.

Update!

We moved.

So, What Are You Doing This Weekend?

For anyone who cares we're moving and I know this is how everyone wants to spend their weekend. Just ask yourself who's going to help you when you're moving? That's right, not me if I don't see you here bright and early this Saturday. Remember, I just had chemo and radiation... I'm sick. I need help. I'm in a weakened state. Everything is going dark. Mommy, is that you?

An Open Window

Here I am 4 days after the completion of my radiation treatments at a Heart 2 Home fundraising event. As you can see, I'm still not my complete self. I have short windows of time randomly throughout the day that I might feel well enough to go out, but not for very long.

It was a great event. Once a month a non-profit group called Strike A Chord organizes a party of sorts and invites up-and-coming musicians to perform for free to help promote themselves. They ask a door charge and have raffles which all the money goes to a particular charity of their choosing. This month was for Heart 2 Home. It was pretty fun... Free food, raffles, good musicians, and all for a good cause.

On our way home from this event we stopped by to see my band, Hoodoo Blues, playing at Scorez. It's just down the street from home. We had a gig there last night that I didn't attend due to my recovering. We walked in right as they were taking a break so it was nice to mingle with my band mates. The window was shutting so I couldn't stay long.

It will be nice when I'm fully recovered and back to normalcy. I will be back with the band in September. If anyone is interested we are playing in Lehi again on Sept 20th. You can go to our website at http://hoodoobluesband.blogspot.com/ and see our upcoming shows.

It's All Downhill From Here

Today was my last day of treatments... no more, none, zilch, nada. Wow! Isn't hindsight great? Looking back is always better than looking forward when you're in the middle of a crisis. When you're looking ahead it seems it'll never end, but when you look back you think, "hmm, that wasn't that bad."

That leads me to thinking, I don't know how anyone can get through hard times without knowing Christ... without knowing who God is... without knowing that your salvation is secure, that your justified through Christ. The Bible isn't lying when it says "fortunate is the man who's sins do not count against him", and that "ALL sins are covered by the blood of Christ"... ALL sins. Not some, not most, but ALL. Isaiah 43 says "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; YOU ARE MINE."

I am sad for those who go throughout their lives wondering from day to day if they'll make it to heaven... if they're saved... redeemed, rescued from their sins. Day to day they wonder if they've done enough. God says you cannot earn your way to heaven, that your good deeds are like filthy rags. He doesn't want your sacrifices, He wants you... He wants your heart... He wants you to accept the free gift of salvation. The cost of salvation is confessing with your mouth and believing in your heart.

This is what gets me through tough times. Knowing that whatever happens, I'm saved from my sins. My salvation is secure. I am justified through Christ Jesus. Knowing that with all my mistakes, all my blunderings, all my sins, I don't have to work off my debt. I am saved! Jesus is my comforter. Who's yours?

This IS Important!

This is my beautiful wife with the long blonde hair. She has a rare condition called H.S.I.C.M.H.S.S.. Symptoms appear randomly but are starting to appear more frequently. I've talked to experts on this and they say there's no clear data on how people get it or even a permanent cure. There's not even any prescription medications that have been developed yet.

I don't know what to do. I've talked to doctors, my clergy, and even Jeeves. Nobody's been able to help. Oh yeah, the acronym above stands for, "Honey, should I cut my hair short?" Syndrom. Every so often she gets a hankering to want to cut her hair short for some reason. Does anybody else's wife have this same condition?

Am I the only one out there pleading with her to get help? Is there a support group in the area I could go to? I just really love her hair long. I'm pretty sure I'd still love her if her hair were short, but man do I like her hair long! Can anyone relate?

Light in the Tunnel

Yes, there is a light in the tunnel. The light says I only have 3 more radiation treatments and I'm done. Praise the Lord. And I do mean, Praise the Lord. God has walked me through this and comforted me all the way. In the beginning I couldn't see the end. It seemed it would go on forever. Now with only 3 treatments left I can look back and see more clearly where God was when I had nothing and leaned on Him for hope.

Even with 3 days left, we can't start partying yet. Because radiation has a delayed effect, like tanning, the doctors tell me that the pain will remain for about 2 weeks after treatments are done... then there will be a gradual tapering off, or healing for a couple more weeks. So, in a way the light in the tunnel is more like James Hetfield's "the light in the tunnel is a freight train coming your way". Don't get me wrong. I'm still excited about only 3 more treatments, but then I have a freight train for about 2 weeks.

But hey, what's 2 more weeks? I can handle it. I can do all things in Christ.

Strawberry Milk?

Yeah, surprised me too. I can actually taste strawberry milk. In an act of desperation, I decided to try chocolate and strawberry milk. I must have been craving a familiar taste from yester-months gone by. Well, whatever made me do it... I'm glad now. I've been chugging Nestle's Strawberry Milk like crazy. Hopefully when I'm sick of strawberry milk I'll have found something else to keep me chugging.

Warning: For first-time readers, this post refers to my lack of taste buds due to present chemo and radiation treatments. If you are confused by any of this, google "Ask Jeeves" then type in "I'm confused". It should explain that you are confused.

The Rest of the Story

It's been said that I'm still not telling it like it really is. Perhaps people (my peeps) don't really know what this is like and what I am going through. This is the rest of the story.

As most know, I've had two chemotherapy treatments and around 20 radiation treatments so far. Chemo is the drug they slow-drip into you via I.V. (that's a needle attached to a bag of liquid chemical stuck in my arm). Radiation is getting strapped down to a table and being targeted with a giant laser-beam shooting radiation at my face and neck (you know, the kind of radiation that can give you skin cancer).

The chemo is the worst 3 or 4 days after treatment. It's like the worst flu... tired, nausea, achy, and very tired. So far the anti-nausea prescriptions have worked pretty good... only because I haven't hurled yet. Also, the chemo makes you lose all your taste buds temporarily during treatment. However, it's worse than just not having taste buds. Everything taste like metal or cardboard or worse. Whatever the taste is it makes you want to throw it back up, so eating has become work.

The radiation is harmless during treatment... can't feel a thing. It builds up though. It's now been four weeks and the inside of my mouth and throat is completely blistered. The skin is dark brown or white depending on whether it's falling off or still hanging on. This makes it uncomfortable to swallow so my entire diet is now liquid. I make shakes out of protein powder and milk... the colder the better. These are high protein, high calorie shakes designed to keep my weight up. About 10 or 12 oz drinks with 300-400 calories in each. Makes it easier to drink it down fast because the taste is so awful.

The radiation also kills my saliva glands. My saliva is almost completely gone now. Saliva is responsible for washing off the teeth to keep plaque from building up. Since I have none, I have to brush and rinse my mouth about every hour to keep my teeth from rotting out. Randomly I'll have days with either complete cotton mouth or my saliva is so thick it's like a glue. It's very hard to swallow or spit out. Usually when I do have to spit it out, it's so thick that it creates a gag-reflex and makes me almost throw-up. I've had to learn to sleep with my mouth shut to limit my having to swallow. The 2 or 3 times during the night when I do need to swallow, that gag-reflex is so bad I usually have to get out of bed to clear my throat.

Between the radiation and the chemo my hair is starting to fall out. The radiation eliminates hair wherever it treats permanently. The chemo eliminates hair temporarily all over my head. I will have permanent hair loss along the lower 1 or 2 inches of my neck. The radiation burns like a sun-burn but worse. It doesn't just burn the outside skin but burns all the way through. Even my neck and shoulders are blistered and peeling. My gums are blistered and peeling.

Besides all the unpleasantness's, I'm tired all the time. Between pain prescriptions, anti-nausea medication, chemo and radiation I'm tired and exhausted most of the time now. I sleep most of the day only up to have a protein shake, clear my throat or rinse my mouth of yeast and blistered skin.

I never did sleep very well during the night anyway, but now it's worse. To even sleep soundly for a few hours at a time I help from the doctor. It's these quiet times just before I drift off to sleep that I talk to God... that I really get a chance to thank God for making it through. I thank God every night for every little thing in my life that I didn't give much thought to before. I thank God for providing for my family when I can't. I thank God for my wife, who quietly takes care of everything so I don't have to worry. I thank God for my kids who still write me home-made cards telling me they love me "sssooooooooo much". I thank God for all the friends and relatives who take time to show love to me.

It's at night that I remember Psalm 4:8 "I will both lie down in peace, and sleep; for You alone, oh Lord, make me dwell in safety".

Blogging Championships

In an effort to out-do Bev's weak blogging attempts, I have decided to blog about things that I normally wouldn't.

For instance, I don't normally like to brag but I did invite Bev's kids over to swim in our pool for the day. Boy did they enjoy that. Well, I'm guessing they enjoyed it by the pictures I took shown here, cause I really didn't watch them that much.

And, we invited Wade over for some birthday cake for my early birthday party which is normally celebrated in October. Wow, did Wade enjoy that! It was like it was his own birthday party... it really brings out the kid in you. I didn't mind so much that it wasn't all about me as Wade needs the attention and I'm pretty compassionate that way. If you look real close I'm getting a little frustrated with Wade going on and on about how it's his birthday.

This next shot is of some kids I picked up from the Big Brother program and took them 4-wheeling for the day. To see the look in their eyes when you tell them they don't have to pay for gas is priceless. Wow... what a day. Then I took them all out lunch. Then after that I took them to the Museum of History and Natural Art. Then we went and fed the ducks in the park. We ended up saving one duck that had been attacked by a dog and brought it to the U.S. Duck Sanctuary and Adopt-a-Duck Foundation of America and helped find a loving owner for this duck. What a learning experience for these unfortunate kids.

You know, you just can't buy memories like that.

Go to http://robisonfam.blogspot.com/ to compare blogging.


Okay, so I hacked Bev's pictures off her site and made up some stuff... okay, I stretched the truth a bit. Fine, I flat out lied - WHATEVER! Except the Adopt-a-Duck Foundation, that was true... ish.

Be sure to vote at the top right of this page.

Vanilla and Peanut Butter

3-day weekend coming. And yes, that means I get a break from the radiation too. Things have been looking up for me. I have been feeling alot better since they prescribed some better pain management things. You know, things. Of course that also means I'm useless around the house... no lifting, not straining, just laying around. The bad news of course is that I'm 100% liquid diet now. But, God is good... the only thing I can taste is vanilla and peanut butter. So that just means vanilla shakes and peanut butter shakes.

The next chemo day is the 14th, so let's pray that it doesn't kill my vanilla and peanut butter taste buds.

Ouch!

Okay, it's starting to hurt folks. This is really testing my pain threshold. As some of you already know, last weekend wasn't so nice to me as far as feeling good goes. The radiation treatments are starting to catch up with me. Radiation is basically like a tanning bed times 100, but it doesn't just burn the surface... it burns all the way through. With daily radiation treatments that hawaiian tan on the inside of my mouth is starting to get that golden bronze leather feel. Food either has NO taste at all, or that unexplainable chemo flavor. The diet has changed dramatically... almost a 100% liquid diet. Pain meds are an absolute must to make it through the day.

Aside from that?... life is great. I'm spending more time at home. I can nap whenever I want (of course the chemo kind of forces you to be tired alot). And, I can kiss my wife anytime of the day I please. NICE!

Nothing Taste Like Chicken... Not Even Chicken!

That's it, taste buds are gone. That went alot faster then I anticipated. So, if anyone out there who can't cook had a hankering to make a meal for me... now's the time. I won't know the difference. It all taste like cardboard-flavored chicken.

OOOOPPPS... how did that picture get in here?

Well I'm getting ready to get picked up for my 4th facial. I'm pretty sure I upgraded my package to include the cucumber slices over my eyes. I'm going to have to ask them about that and maybe get a credit on my next visit. I already feel 10 years younger. (So that would make it right about the time I was turning "over-the-hill" and feeling tired all the time.) Oh well, it's still 10 years younger. How many of you can say that right about now?

Uh oh, who's not watcing the clock... I've got to down a cardboard shake and get ready for another face tanning. Bye, bye, now.

June 24 Update

This is Tiffany - Paul's resting a bit today so I thought I'd upload some info. I know you all are concerned about his treatment. Yesterday he had his first radiation in the morning and then 4 hours of doing chemo in the afternoon. Here's some pics -

For the radiation they have fashioned a mask with a teeth guard for his upper teeth and a tongue depressor to try and minimize the radiation to the upper jaw - keep it to the lower jaw and neck. Once on the table and the mask bolted down it only takes about 10 minutes for the actual radiation.

For the chemo they gave him IV anti-nausea and potassium for

hydration - then the chemo. We sat and played cards and laughed in our little chemo cubicle - I think everyone was jealous because so much laughter was coming from our cubicle. Maybe you're not supposed to laugh while you're getting chemo? Here's to breaking all the rules!

Today Paul again had radiation (thank you Aaron for the ride) - he is a bit groggy and his face is very red. He's taking a lot of medication to keep the nausea at bay - we're praying!

That's the scoop - we so appreciate your love and prayers!

Here's Paul during chemo with his laptop and phone - and of course a big grin!

Life Doesn't Get Better Than This

How bad can life be with these kind of pitures? We have some good times amongst all the bad. Laying around at the lake with a bucket of chicken doesn't suck. Hanging around with family on Father's Day aint bad either.

I wrote a song called "Feels Like Rain" a couple of years ago that, I think, descibes how I feel about life. It talks about how aweful we see the rainy days and how we think we can't handle it. But, it's the rainy days that make the sunny days so memorable. It's the water from the rain that washes off all the dirt from the dry, dusty summer days. It's the blood of Christ that washes away our sins, not His smile.

As everyone knows, my situation right now could certainly justify a gloomy outlook on life. But, I always remember the rain. Nobody likes a cloudy day. Nobody especially likes it when the forecast for the next while seems gloomy. I've had a pretty gloomy extended forecast, but I'm not going to hide in a cave until the storm passes. I'm choosing to enjoy the rain. I'm choosing to look the storm in the eye and say "bring it on!", cause I know it can't rain forever. The storm will pass like all storms do.

You may be looking at your life in the midst of rain. Or, you may be enjoying the sun. But, at some point the forecast may say something else... it might "feel like rain". Don't worry... it never rains forever. Just ask God.

Doctor's Orders

That's right... Doctor said I have recover from the surgery and fatten up for chemo. You heard it. He said mandatory fattening up. So that's what we're doing. In fact, the whole family is in on it. What you see here is a Yellow Submarine exclusively at Thanksgiving Point. We go there as a family for every major celebration. First day of school. Last day of school. Birthdays. You name it, we're there celebrating with a giant Yellow Submarine ice cream treat.

This has been one of the best prescriptions I've ever got. So every night is fatten dad up night. Mac & Cheese with extra cheese. Spaghetti with meat balls. Belgium Waffles with syrup and whip cream for lunch. Eight-Egg Cheese Omlettes for breakfast. Life doesn't get better than this. Well, I take that back. I guess if I had a bigger mouth right now that would be nice. Oh well, can't have everything.

A Randem Thought Worth Mentioning

Can you believe it... these pictures were taken about 10 days apart. I look much better. Too bad for Mark, he looks the same. Mark was one of many friends and family to visit during and after my latest hospital stay.

This got me thinking. Would I be this kind of friend? If my friend was going through a tragedy, would I come visit? Would I come to see how he is doing? Would I spend part of my day to go cheer him up? Would I sit and talk about him, without talking about me... at all? A scary thought. Scary because I think I might not be that good of a friend. Time for a personal character inventory.

Experiences like this make for all kinds of wild pondering and reflection. Something for me to really dig down deep on. God has a way of convicting us when we least expect it. Am I a fair-weather friend?

Mark, just because I used you as the poster child on this don't be letting this go to your head. Remember, I'm still around to keep your ego in check.

Holding Out on You?

I guess I've been holding out on everyone... not giving all the information or diluting the facts. A good friend of mine stopped by yesterday just to get all the facts. Obviously shocked, I asked why he did'nt just go to my blog for the skinny. Turns out my blog is not informative enough. Well if that just doesn't defeat the entire purpose of my blog.

So I've got some real big decisions coming up. Should I make my blog more informative? Or, should I just say to the h@** with it and keep it the way it is...? perfect.

Hmmmm. Well just in case here is Tiffany's blog address: htpt://www.tiffanyberg.blogspot.com/

What?

So you're not buying the whole Head Transplant thing? I don't know why that's soooo hard to believe. I felt the wave of caring visitors dramatically wane . I feared I had to have something a bit more severe to keep all the attention. Oh well, I guess it's not really about me anyway, right? It's all about Jesus.

I'm home and it feels great! This morning I had my first taste of food since the surgery 10 days ago. Mmmmm, mmm, mmmmmmm. I love food.

Things are going good. I'm moving around allot better without the feeding tube tethered to me. I've gotten pretty steady on the crutches and have only fallen 11.3% of my attempts. That's good. My PT (Physical Therapist) says I'm a natural. Besides my wife and kids, my parents, my intermediate extended family members, neighbors, friends, church body, postman, Domino's Pizza delivery guy, and random passer-bys my dog was the most excited for me to be home.

Head Transplant is Scheduled

The hospital finally called and gave us the time and day to check in for the Head Transplant surgery on me. Next Friday May 30th at 9am same hospital, the big new one, IMC. Since the new bone graf (free fibula flap right neck dissection) didn't take, then we're going with our back up plan. We found a donor match (God is good) so consultation is Tuesday at 3:30 and the actual transplant on Friday at 9am.

With technology the way it is today this will be an outpatient surgery but I will need a ride home. I should be able to use all five sensory functions right away, but some rehabilitation is expected. Oh, about the donor match... Jason Hewlett volunteered his head. The necks are a perfect match, so skin grafting will be kept at a minimum (which is good because the only really good skin I have left for transplant and grafting is right behind my..., well I guess that doesn't need to be shared).

Thanks for all of your support through all of this. This surgery will be open to public viewing, but no flash photography.

Is There A Doctor In The House?

Hello!.... I'm ready to go home now. Mouth feels fine, really. Can I just go home for cry'n out loud.

You know, as fun as it's been in here it does get old after awhile. People are right when they say the pampered life is not all it's cracked up to be.

(Now there's a bit of an off-topic discussion. All it's cracked up to be? What is that? How is something cracked up to be something and make any sense? Of course, to confuse you even more we only use that phrase when apparently it hasn't quite measured up to the cracked up standard we've set so high. Okay, more on that later.)

What was I saying? Oh yeah. Living the good life, the lap of luxury if you will. Well, frankly I thought being fed through a tube would be cool. You know, less work. Convenience. The stigma. Well I'm sorry, but having elite pharmaceuticals trickle through your veins at the snap of finger just gets boring. Yes, I'm actually bored. I've pushed the Nurse call button just about every way you can push it. I've asked them to come in for just about everything that people normally wouldn't ask them to come in for. I called the Nurse to have her turn on my TV. TV remote... 2 buttons, Nurse... 1 button. Much easier to just call the Nurse don't you think. Once I was so lazy I called her in and when she got in I'd forgotten why so I asked her to call the Nurse to figure it out. Crazy I know.

Soooo, can I just go home now. I promise I'll just drink shakes for the first week. I promise. I won't talk allot, or shout at solicitors. I'll be good. Cross my heart.

I See You.

When they said I'd be ICU for 4 days I thought they said "I See You" like a giant glass partition so my visitors could all come in and sit down on stadium seating, eating popcorn and just watch me like a Harbor Seal at Sea World. My he%&, I didn't know it meant "Intensive Care Unit". 'Cause that sucks!

I'm out of ICU now so things are looking up for me. Like the Matrix, they're slowing pulling tubes out of me. Soon I'll be free. They're saying as soon as Tuesday. Whoa! When you're in the hospital this long you start getting really bored between hourly and half hourly pokes, so TV starts becoming your friend. Even if it's just on as white noise to drown out the moans from across the hall. I watched enough of the horse races that now I'm hooked. My money is on 'Big Brown' to sweep the Triple Crown. Here is the YouTube video clip http://youtube.com/watch?v=5i_gc7G8Tng

What Now?

The Bible says to petition the Lord in everything... to make our requests known. God also said we need to bring our requests boldly to the throne. My prayer is for life. Complete healing. A miracle. What is yours? I pray always and glorify God in all I do. He is the healer. He can do anything. He is not uncapable of a miraculous healing. With a word He created the heavens and the earth. I put my faith in Him, the Creator and the Healer.

Pray with me starting now. Hide in your closets and pray. Pray with a loud voice. Pray with a whisper in your heart. Pray in a song. God knows your heart and the Holy Spirit intercedes where there are no words. Cry out loud and bring your requests to the Lord. I am.

Good News!....

Jesus died for our sins about 2000 years ago... nobody has to earn their way to heaven. Thank God. The catch? You have to confess with your mouth and believe in your heart that He died for your sins and He is you savior Romans 10:9. This might eliminate some of you... Bummer.

The other good news?... Surgery is next week, so the gig is still on this Saturday at Scorez in Lehi, 8pm to midnight.

Biopsy Update

After the sixth biopsy (samples of the mysterious tissue) I'm thinking it should be completely gone by now. Oh well, doctors have to make a living too. We wont know the results from the lab test until Wednesday. Apparently it was hard to get to so the first five tissue samples were insufficient.

Since they say that it's not how you die, but rather how you live... I decided on an all natural biopsy, you know, no epidural. That way I could experience it completely without the limitations of anesthesia. It was great. I would have to say that on the pain monitor it's right up there with a cracked femur. No, worse. Both of them... cracked femi.

RPM Cobras: Build Progress 427 Cobra 6031#comments

RPM Cobras: Build Progress 427 Cobra 6031#comments

Luuuu-cyyyyy! You've got some explaining to do

Tiffany tore down this little house and put a big house in it's place in 10 days. Can you believe it? Who would've known that little idea of hers four years ago would grow into something like this.

The Heart 2 Home foundation she and Greg Adamson put together has now remodeled or completely rebuilt 8 homes in Utah and I'm getting a little tired of this... I actually had to make a few of my own meals a couple of weeks ago.

"Where did I file that pre-nuptual?"

Kidding aside, she's awesome. Always helping people.

Loving people. People loving people. People helping loving people. People freaking helpi

ng freaking loving freaking people. I'm just all people'd out. No, I'm just all freaking people'd out. I'm just...

Wait, what was I talking about?

Oh yeah. Tiffany is awesome. And she bakes too. Okay, bye bye now.

http://www.utahhomemakeover.com/

Hoodoo Who?

Hoodoo Blues band is back! Well, we never really left. I just needed a strong intro.

Hoodoo Blues is playing April 18 and 19 at Flirts in Lehi. 8pm to midnight Friday and Saturday nights, back to back. This is a private club so bring cash. Remember, two nights in a row of solid blues... loud and in your face. Okay, not really in your face, but loud. I thought "in your face" sounded cool though.

Miss Me?

That don't look like Utah, don't it?

It's not. It's sunny California in March. Tiffany and I went out to Pleasant Hill, California for some Therapy. It worked... we get along much better now.

Kidding. We went to look into a cancer therapy. And yes, that's why I have'nt been around much. We've been very busy with this new therapy trying to settle in to a new routine. We are very confident that this is what will settle the score with this whole cancer thing once and for all.

The therapy is alot of work and is pretty much an hourly regime for 13 hours a day everyday. I've had to quit my job as it does not accomodate such a routine. This just means that I really need to finish the Cobra. So, between treatments (if I'm not throwing up) you'll find me in the garage with a wrench in my hand. I may need to get a seperate phone just for the garage.

To All The Girls I've Loved Before

I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE!

But Tiffany... she's hot.

This is to all the girls out there that are still hanging on to any notion that I might love them. NO. I don't. My good looks have been preserved for the enjoyment and pleasure of one woman...Tiffany. She alone has the priviledge of gazing upon me for hours, and at the end of the day she knows it's just me and her (minus the film crew).

Thank you sweetheart for eight plus years of a wonderful marriage and five beautiful children (and a dog). Thank you for birthing three of those chidren. Thank you for spending so much time making our family a priority above all things.

Thank you for sticking through all the hard times. Thank you for loving me even when I'm not that lovable. Thank you for helping me find God in my darkest hour. Thank you for cooking all my meals, even when I promised I would clean up from then and haven't.

Thank you for loving me in a way that allows me to be who I am. Thank you for supporting all my hobbies (they're really gifts from God, but for all the pagan's sake we'll just call them hobbies). Thank you for always wanting to fill my needs before your own.

Tiffany, you are my heart's sancuary. You are my happy place. I cannot imagine a world without you right next to me. I love you. Will you be my Valentine?

Keno Therapy?

The doctors told me that it's imperrative that I get plenty of sunshine and play lots of keno. I'm likin' that prescription. Of course their offical medical terms were radiation and keno-therapy... or kemo-therapy... or maybe it was chemistry-therapy... chemostry-therapy... cosmopolitan-therapy? No, choloric-therapy. Wait, or was it chemotherapy? Whatever!

Well as soon as figured out what they really wanted I certainly didn't like what was in store for me. My first reaction was, no. God will see my through this. But then I met with the radiation doctor and was told some pretty scary things about what could happen if I did not go through with the prescribed therapies. Fear got the best of me and I started preparing for months of extreme radiation to my face and chemotherpy treatments.

Out of fear I procrastinated taking all of this to God. But, with gentle perssuasion Tiffany convinced me that I needed to. After some serious prayer and my nose buried in the Word, I was given an answer... from God.

God told me that this wasn't the treatment I'm supposed to undergo. I don't know what that means exactly yet, but I am still praying continually about it. Keep praying for me (if you were already, or start now) and I will keep you posted.

God is good.

Save Me!
Words & Music by Paul Berg
Copyright © 2005 Paul Berg

Just like a child, I stumbled
Surrounded by my sins and shame
I saw only trouble and sorrow
Then I called out Your name

Bend down and listen, I am deeply troubled
I believed in You, so I prayed
Bend down and hear me, wash away my sorrows
I believe in You, please Lord, save me!

Facing death, You saved me
Now I can rest again
Lord, You’ve been so good to me
I wanna call out Your name

Bend down and listen,
Bend down and hear me,
Bend down and talk to me,
Bend down and save me!

Bend down and listen, I am deeply troubled
I believed in You, so I prayed
Bend down and hear me, wash away my sorrows
I believe in You, please Lord, save me!

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